Issue # 20

my kid is one

Today my kid is one.

He’s graduated from newborn to some form of toddler. He can almost walk. He babbles and decisively calls me both amma and mamma, and he can do a million other things he couldn’t do just a year ago.

I stopped writing this newsletter a little while ago, sort of abruptly. It was a mix of life getting in the way and me just not needing to anymore. Nineteen issues in, one day, something just sort of clicked. It was still hard, I was still tired, and I still had to work to find moments of peace and gratitude in my chaotic days, but I didn’t need to talk about it anymore. Life just became… life.

I felt like a mom. I was a mom. And I was healed enough and recovered enough to take whatever life threw at me, just like before I was a mom. Working got easier. Juggling parenthood, adulthood, and selfhood became more figure-out-able.

But I thought I'd do one last issue, to round it out, as my kid turns one, and I celebrate my first year completed as a parent.

This time last year, my water had just broken and I was waiting for labour to start. And now, as I sit here tapping away at my keyboard, my kid is fast asleep upstairs, and life feels good.

It's not that it gets easier. It's that your stamina keeps growing, and you keep levelling up with every new thing parenthood throws at you.

I don't know that I would have chosen parenthood had my spouse not wanted a kid so much. But he did, and I did choose it. And I love my kid so much. I love him more every single day.

He won't remember this time, or this day. But I will. Because it was the beginning and development of a new me, a version I could not have imagined.

There was an issue where I wrote that I didn't know yet who I was, but I could sort of see her. Well. I know who I am now again.

I’m Aurooba — a bookworm with a penchant for romanticizing life, throwing brunches, obsessing over coffee, and kissing her kid’s forehead and holding him close at random.

I’m Aurooba — I create 15-minute watercolour paintings to relax, watch a million videos on how to use the Dyson Airwrap, and have a habit of starting new blogs at random.

I'm Aurooba.

Nice to meet you. :)