Issue # 20 my kid is one Today my kid is one. He’s graduated from newborn to some form of toddler. He can almost walk. He babbles and decisively calls me both amma and mamma, and he can do a million other things he couldn’t do just a year ago. I stopped writing this newsletter a little while ago, sort of abruptly. It was a mix of life getting in the way and me just not needing to anymore. Nineteen issues in, one day, something just sort of clicked. It was still hard, I was still tired, and I...

Issue # 19 this word leads to me We were practicing standing, like we often do. I offered him my fingers, he gripped them with his tiny hands, and pulled himself up, delighted with himself, delighted with me. And then, without warning, he said mamma. Not to me. Not looking at me. Just said it, like it had burst out of him. Like it had been sitting in his chest waiting for a way out. Something inside me froze, then warmed, then sparked. He doesn’t know I’m mamma yet. But he will. And something...

Issue # 18 after the baby..there was you. Last week, I wrote a letter to my pregnant self, the one trying to keep up with her old life while growing a whole new one. Now I’ve been thinking about the version of me who came next: postpartum me. A woman healing and adjusting and waking up each day to someone completely new, her baby, yes, but also herself. So here’s what I’d tell her now. Dear postpartum me, You don’t love him yet. And you knew that was likely to happen. You trust that love...