Issue # 14

the sweetness of right now

Lately, my son wants to be close. All the time.

He wants to nap pressed up against my arm. He wants to crawl into my lap while I eat. He watches me load the dishwasher or fold the laundry like it’s the most fascinating thing he’s ever seen.

And I love it.

The way he looks at me, eyes soft, wide, full of trust and adoration, he doesn't quite look at anyone else like that. There’s something about this season that feels pure. Simple. Uncomplicated love.

He finds comfort just by being near. I am safety, warmth, the soft place to land when the day is too big for his tiny body. Holding him settles something in both of us.

I didn’t always feel this way. In the early days, the constant closeness sometimes felt heavy, like there was no room for me inside my own day. But now, more often than not, it feels good to settle into it. To let it be what it is: fleeting, sweet, something to be savoured.

This season is short. He will grow. One day, he won’t want to fall asleep beside me or reach for my face while he drinks his milk. One day, he’ll have other places to be, a whole life that stretches far beyond my lap.

But not yet.

Right now, he wants me close. And I want to be close, too.

So I let him nap on me. I carry him from room to room. I sit a little longer while he lies across my chest, breathing softly, his small hand curled around my collar.

This isn’t something I’m enduring. It’s something I’m soaking in. A sweetness I get to hold, just for now. It's good to have arrived here.

Still becoming, still learning, still arriving,

Aurooba