Issue # 6

the freedom to not upgrade

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the concept of lifestyle inflation, the idea that as your income goes up, so do your expenses. A slightly bigger home, more takeout, nicer tech, shinier subscriptions. Nothing wrong with any of that.

But it adds up, quietly and quickly. And before you know it, the baseline cost of your life is so high that it becomes harder and harder to buy the one thing that actually feels scarce: time.

I’m so grateful my spouse and I didn’t let that inflation run away from us.

Don’t get me wrong, we’ve changed out all our appliances, fixed up our backyard, built a garage, and even bought a new 3D printer. But those purchases made our existing lives easier without adding more complexity. We’ll always need a stove that works, right?

We’ve both grown in our careers over the past few years. We earn more now than we used to. But instead of upgrading our lifestyle, adding more things we “need” in order to feel good, we’ve mostly kept things the same, just better. And now that we’ve had a baby, that decision is paying off in ways I feel every single day.

Because of that choice, I get to work part time right now, after taking a full four months off.

Because of that choice, my spouse was able to go on parental leave for eight months as soon as I gave birth.

Because of that choice, we’ve been able to give our baby our time, not just pay someone else to step in because we couldn’t afford to slow down.

And somehow, even with the added costs of having a kid, our lifestyle hasn’t taken a hit. We go out less, yes, but that happened naturally, because we’re new parents, not because we had to cut back.

I don’t say any of this with judgment for anyone who’s made different choices. Everyone’s circumstances are different. But if you’re in a season where your income is growing, I just want to say, it’s okay not to upgrade everything.

Sometimes, what you don’t buy yourself makes room for what you can’t buy back.

tips for keeping kid-costs low

In that same spirit, here are a couple things we’ve done with intention to stay grounded and avoid unnecessary spending in this first year of parenting:

• Toys, but not too many. We’ve received two toy subscriptions as gifts: one from Lovevery and one from KiwiCo, and between those, we have more than enough. We did buy a couple of bath toys and some hanging toys for the play gym early on, but that’s about it. Babies really don’t need much to be entertained. Most of our kid’s toys fit into one small box, and that’s been more than enough.
• Clothes, slowly and intentionally. We buy new clothes only when our kid needs them, and we’re careful about what we choose. We regularly clear out what no longer fits, donating to secondhand shops or saving a few special pieces for friends and family. We keep just enough to avoid doing laundry more than once a week; and that’s it.

These choices weren’t about being minimal, not at all. They’ve been about making space, saving energy, and staying aligned with what actually matters to us, rather than subscribing to the more is more mentality.

Like with anything in life, time with your kids doesn’t just happen; it has to be carved out, protected, made possible.

Sometimes that’s a privilege.

Sometimes it’s a sacrifice.

Sometimes it’s a series of small, quiet choices you make long before the baby arrives and continue to make afterwards as well.

It’s not always easy. But for us, it’s been worth everything.

Till next week,

Aurooba